Did They Really Say That?

Have you ever been taunted by thoughts such as, "They don't like me.", "You aren't liked.", "Why did you just say that?", "No one cares, everyone thinks that you are annoying."

I have found myself tormented by destructive thoughts such as these.  These thoughts are dangerous and they are toxic to our souls.  I was having a conversation a while back and the other person said, "I know you think..."  I paused and thought to myself, how do you know what I am thinking?

All too often we assume what people are thinking and as women we do this way too often.  People are not assessing us and thinking about us as much we think they are.  As Christian women we need to hold our thoughts to a higher standard, but we fall to the ways of sin and we allow these toxic thoughts to manipulate us into feeling insecure and inadequate about ourselves.

Philippians 4:6,8 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God....Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things."

We are instructed to think and to have our minds on constructive thoughts, not destructive.

I will be the first to tell you that changing from the toxic thoughts to constructive thoughts is not an easy task.  There are some ways that helped me to change my thought pattern.

The first is something that my mom told me growing up, Did someone actually say that, or am I assuming they are thinking it?  If they did not actually say it, and you are assuming it, that is destructive to you and unfair to the other person.  If they actually said it, then that needs to be handled with that person. The second is Being actively involved with truth.  When we spend more time filling our thoughts and our mind with God's truth, there is less room for those destructive and toxic thoughts to creep in.  Finally, are there people or situations that I am surrounding myself with that are encouraging the toxic thoughts?  Taking a step back from situations and/or people that are encouraging these thoughts can be difficult.  I have been in that situation and it is not easy, but having other people who are immersing themselves with God's truth makes this transition much easier.

Things that we encounter in our lives can be much more difficult than just doing the three things above, but this is a great place to start to keep our minds and thoughts pure and constructive rather than toxic and destructive.